…that the way to show that she loved you was to contribute to your college education she told me that as far as we are concerned it was all about money.  How to you think the bursur (sic) at Bates would have responded if you told him that you had no money, but that your mother loved you.  I very much doubt that that would have kept you in school.  It’s easy to say now that she loved and missed you when all the bills are paid, and when we helped you get established by allowing you to live with us after you graduated for 5 years without contributing a dime towards anything so that you could save up for a down payment on a house, and then on top of it gave you a mortgage that you could not have obtained at the time from a lender because your salary level was not adequate .  Furthermore, she tells you that she loves you, yet when you asked to come to live with us, she had no objections, except that she wanted to continue to get child support.  Does that sound like love to you? There was no mention of contributing to your support on her part. As for Marie, you told us that she hit you when you had not done anything wrong, she sat you down and screamed at you.  You referred to her as a “mad woman”  and now you ar sooo happy to hear from her.  Irving, smoked pot and now you are awed with his position.  They too could have contacted you had they really missed you so much.  People do it all the time.  Justin being in the computer field, I’m sure is savy enough to have been able to find you, and if all else fails one can always hire a detective to find someone that “we loved and missed so much.”  I’m amazed how needy and gullible you are.  Under normal circumstances it would be totally understandable, but based on what you told us, your problems stem from the time you spent with them, especially Frances.  So why would you want to go back and fall into their arms?  I truly don’t get it.  Or is it, Chris, that you lied to us about how bad things were with them and just didn’t like their telling you what to do, and so you decided to live with us to escape, just like you didn’t like the fact that we didn’t see eye to eye with your girlfriend and so you decided to get even with us by contacting Frances.  If so, that is rather juvenile.  

Furthermore, if you truly felt you wanted to make things right and needed for whatever reason to reconnect, don’t you think that you should have first repaired the relationship with us, the two people who have REALLY been there and SACRIFICED so much for you in a loving way?  Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should have sat down with us first, especially with me and discussed your intentions.  Are you so insensitive towards other people that you just don’t care what impact your actions may have on them.  I want to remind you that you asked me if you could come to live with us and if you could call me Mom.  Even though you treated me VERY unkindly over a period of seven (7) years, I opened not only our home, but also my heart in a BIG way.  I ALWAYS treated and loved you as my very own, and went to great length to be there for you and to make up for what you should have had when you were younger.  Remember,  I got you into Stuyvesant at the 11^th hour.  You didn’t even know about the school nor did Frances care to get you into a school of your caliber.  Imagine how different your life would have been had you attended Snug Harbor High.  I suggested that your dad find you a summer camp, because you were so people shy and didn’t relate to other kids.  Your dad went through great length to find a camp for you where you would find other kids with intellectual interest, a camp that was rather expensive for us at the time.  We didn’t care about the money, we just wanted you to learn to be a kid.   We got you into Bates and paid all of your tuition, to which I contributed equally from my hard earned money.  When I sensed that you were having emotional difficulties, we drove to Maine after work to spent a few hours with you. It would have been much easier to go home and put up our feet and watch TV. We really cared and didn’t just tell you we love you.  I helped you find your first job when you didn’t make any effort upon graduation, we made it possible for you to buy your house.  I spent weeks driving around trying to find a nice house you could afford.  We not only gave you the mortgage, but also furnished your house, not with junk, but good and expensive furniture, right down to pots and pans and décor.  I washed and cooked for you, took care of you when you were sick, and even after you moved out invited you for dinner every week and in addition had something for you to take home with you.  Even during the process of moving, I went over to your house to help you with your yard because I knew you were spenting (sic) so many hours at work and did’t (sic) get caught up with your yard work.  One day when you were sitting in the kitchen depressed, I suggested to you that you should write a book  I was always looking for ways to help you find something you enjoy to get you out of your doldrums.   THIS WAS ALL OUT OF LOVE FOR YOU,  and you seem to take it all for granted. 

You know, Chris, that I had absolutey (sic) no obligation towards you.  It all came out of the goodness of my heart.  This is what love is all about, not just words.   In spite of 24 years of love and caring for you, you turned against us when we disagreed with you over Denise.  What does that say about you, Chris. Over a period of six months you have ignored us totally, you have not initiated calls, in fact you didn’t even return your dad’s calls.  You never visited, even though we invited you.  When we tried to get together with you by offering to meet with you up in Northern Virginia, you had a barrage of excuses why you couldn’t see us, yet you had all the time to look and chat with your “other” family who were where these last 24 years?  You didn’t even inquire about our health, yet you tell us in your e-mail how happy you were to hear that your other family was healthy (the family you right up until Easter) never wanted to see or hear from again.  I mentioned to you only a little about how your behavior has effected your dad’s health, and I didn’t even tell you the half of it, never mind what effects all this has had on me. Is this how you treat people who have been there for you, loved and cared for you and gave unselfishly, over one incident .  I didn’t sent you back to Frances when you broke our mirror after the second week you were with us, or when you put holes in the wall, or broke our door, or tore out your hair and lied about it.  I stuck with you and didn’t run from the problem.  Believe me it would have been far easier to send you back.  That’s what you do for people you truly love.  You say you love us, yet you treat us like aquaintances (sic).  We have to make phone appointments with you.  You are so nasty and disrespectful towards your dad who has loved you more than I ever have seen anyone love a child.  His patience is unparalled (sic).  I would give anything to have a dad like you have even for a month.  My dad was never there for me, never told me he loved me or even cared how I was doing. You write in your e-mail sarcastically regarding your dad telling you maybe we should have a cooling off period (“what is this a dating game}.  May I remind you that you were the one that shouted uncontrollably at your dad.  He tried to diffuse the situation  by telling you that maybe we should have a cooling off period (which by the way is a standard technique).  If anybody should have been angry, it’s your dad.  He did NOT deserve your kind of behaviour.