And with the accumulation of years of hypervigilance, interspersed with the denial to which they had each clung while still young enough that adulthood was a distant goal, they had grown; grown larger; grown stronger — stronger, to the extent that learning which fears to stomp on; which to share, was a strength.  Ian had the advantage, and had had the advantage, in the form of a father who was a distinct presence — a giver of advice, ensurer that the inherently counter-intuitive fissure between him and his mother Had Nothing to Do With Him.  Ian, Chris felt, was the stronger of the two of them.  Ian felt the opposite — and out of this a friendship had grown.